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How Physical Illness Affects your Mental and Emotional Health

I have mono.  I’ve had it for what seems like an eternity.  I was diagnosed in late July.  At that time my doctor informed me that “you probably won’t feel really good again to after Halloween“.  At which time, I collapsed into a sobbing heap on the floor and asked for healing.  I’m not kidding.  At that point, I was so deathly sick that I couldn’t imagine being that way for 3 more months.  My spleen was so swollen that I was having a great deal of pain under my ribs.  It wasn’t pretty.

I was told not to exercise or do anything strenuous.  Never mind that the weekend before that I had packed up our entire daycare and put it in storage over a weekend span with about 8 hours sleep.  Pulling, tugging at heavy equipment, cleaning and doing what I thought was necessary.  So much for “nothing strenuous”.  Anyway, the end of that week brought me back into the doctor’s office with terrible kidney pain.  I passed a kidney stone about a week before that and now my kidney’s were just plain not acting.  The response of a too large spleen?  Maybe, maybe not.

I spent the weekend in the hospital.  I come home and spent my 3rd or 4th, who was counting, week in bed.  All day, all night – in bed…tired, emotional and weeping a lot.  Oh and the pain, the pain under my ribs from the spleen.  That was pitiful.

Moving past the week in bed, I had two weeks where I felt pretty normal.  Things were just happily moving right along when BAM, I went down again.  I was back in bed for 4 days thinking I was dying.  How in the heck could that be?  We were getting ready for a vacation the next week and I couldn’t stand the thoughts of being sick while at the beach.

That was two and a half week ago.  And, yesterday, yesterday I went down again.  I was trying my best to hold my head up while sitting in the recliner trying to work.  My son had free reign of the house until about 11 when I forced him to take a nap with me.  We slept til 2′ish and then got up and retrieved my oldest son from school.

Today, we did school drop off, canceled my marriage counseling appointment because there simply was no way I could get there.  Honestly, if I had been showered and half way decent, I might could have made the drive or found someone to go with me to drive and watch my three year old.  But, the very thought of showering, blow drying this head of hair, getting dressed and the driving 30 miles to the appointment, staying there an hour and 30 minutes drive time home – well it was just too daunting.  So, I canceled.

Emotionally I’m not in as big of a funk as I was when I was first diagnosed.  Well, for the most part I am doing fairly well emotionally.  But, the mental fatigue that hits you with mono is unbelievable.  When I was diagnosed I was told that I had probably been sick for about 6 weeks.  That’s when I put all the vague mental pictures together.  The places where I couldn’t keep up with what day it was, who was suppose to be working at what time at the daycare and when to do payroll.

That fog lifted after the first bout, the second bout I did ask my mom nearly every day and sometimes 2 or 3 times a day what day of the week it was.  I didn’t try to work so obviously the fog wasn’t so bad.  Or at least I interpreted it to be not so bad anyway.  This time, emotionally I’m fine and mentally I’m better than I was the other 2 episodes, but I do find that time just slips away from me and I have no idea what I’ve accomplished.  No, I do know, I haven’t accomplished much.

So, it is looking more and more like the doc was right it may very well be after Halloween before I start feeling better on a regular basis.  And, if that is the case, look for me to be a little sporadic with my posting.  I isn’t intentional, it just happens as a side effect of mono.

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